Reflection: Finding Beauty in the Chaos

Ever write a masterpiece or kill that PPT slide show, then realize you didn't save it or accidently closed out the Window that holds your presentation? That core-kicking dip in your tummy, the gasp that happens at that moment is what 2024 felt like tbh. It wasn't all bad, but to reflect, grow, and learn, we've got to analyze the hard, messy, and difficult times. There's beauty in the struggle and in everything, really. We just have to search for it extra hard sometimes!"

There were so many layers and lessons learned that I know were placed in my lane to prepare me for what is to come. Maybe it's preparing me for today or in 5 years. Time will only tell and I am sure you will hear about it at some point.

Lessons Learned

Heavy lessons and battling things like love, loss, more loss, how to battle loss, how to come to terms with boy things, how to keep it cool, how to bite my tongue, how to say it with my chest, listen more and observe, how to be consistent, how to take breaks, how to deal with rejection, rejection x2, laugh during hard times, laugh always, be kind and seek God in everything, how to realize something has ended for a very very clear reason, control, worthiness and willingness to compromise ETC ETC ETC.

Hopes for 2025

May 2025 bring me peace, joy, laughter, health, hotness, worthiness, closer to God, close to my loved ones, challenges that drive me closer to my goals, and stepping out of my way to get there.

Now taking what we've learned and applying it in the real world is the challenge and key. For example, loss and how to battle really heavy emotions.

Coping w Loss

Loss is inevitable, but having the strength to battle it, challenge it, and overcome your mind and body is something I've learned I have to do. I'm not perfect, and I feel pain—I'm not a robot—but having a few tools in my kit helps me along the way, and I'll share them in a few lines

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I feel like since college I have been around and surrounded by loss/death but have not experienced it head-on until losing my aunt in February 2024. I have created this story that I was the person who triggered a ripple effect. I made the 3 A.M. calls and told everyone to get to the hospital. Without going into too much detail, standing next to a loved one losing their life and coming closer to the celestial gates of heaven sends a sharp pain through the soul I'd never experienced before. I've known this person my entire life. They're gone now...

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Things were in the works in my life. I was moving cities, starting a new job I fought for, and a tragedy struck my family and me. How does one recover or begin to heal when there's work to be done and the world does not stop for you? I want to grieve and remember the best of times with my loved one.

Switching Toolbelts

I have many toolbelts and this was time to switch and hang up the "how to move cities and make friends" belt and grab the "how to be ok when you're not ok" toolbelt.

Tools for Coping

1. Breathing. Try military breathing throughout the day. It's free and calms the mind.

2. High-intensity workouts. A few of my favorites are [solidcore], RIDE, RYDE, and running in the great outdoors helps expel negative energy or energy that has nowhere to go.

3. Consistency in church. I enjoy Shoreline, RedRocks, and Hope City (worship is soo good at HC!)

4. Seeking out the good:. Check in regularly with friends and family. When I feel pulled to see how someone is doing, I will. If I am feeling pulled to, it is for a reason, so listening to it is vital.

5. Feel feelings. Feel the sadness or excitement or annoyance in that moment. Ex. Allowing the mind and body to enjoy the beauty in missing someone or on the flip side, locking in the happiness that a freshly brewed coffee makes you feel. For me, a cup of JO can solve a lot. Leaning into your emotions and feeling that feeling but bringing yourself back is important too. Reflect, remember, come back. Here's a guide.

6. Music. Music can truly heal the soul in my opinion. When I need a self-hype, it's Megan THEEEE Stallion. When I'm on the home stretch of my run it's Excision. When I want to cry for a moment it's Goodness of God - Live by CeCe Winans. When I can't sleep, I pick whatever Spotify suggests for a nice snooze. If you're a music lover, you get it. (Currently in my ears writing this blog is I Need My Girl - Live in Rome by The National.)

7. Practicing gratitude. Truly being grateful for the gifts we've been given to play on this earth. Not everyone can see, breathe easily, move their legs, type a blog, have a family that will take care of them when shit truly hits the fan, friends to call, who will cross cities to take care of you, stretch, or even hold a job. Having the motivation to get after every single day is a gift. Don't take it for granted.

   
   

   This is a reflection and expansion on one heavy life event that occurred in 2024. Yes, there were bumpy patches in my year but there were so many amazing things that happened too. That's a blog for another day, promise!

   
   

   Take what resonates with you if any. Putting thoughts into a blog, pen to paper is what does it for me.

   
   

   Going into 2025 with a love for life and understanding that we won't be here forever, so might as well make it fun, cute, and amazing while we're here. On the heels of 30, I'm learning not to care as much about what other people think. I can only control my actions and emotions in the moment.

   
   

   Let's see what's in store for 2025.

   
   

   Cheers!